My Time in Amsterdam


  The “Blues” rang through a smoky pub on a Friday evening in the heart of Holland, as I embraced my surfacing feelings one by one, taking in every moment, every beat of my erratic heart. (Don’t you see I want to be free and sing like a figure of divinity?) I wanted to sing so magnificently, dissecting the in between day time and night time sky so that every Angel above would acknowledge me, wishing to make love to me. I wandered for a bit hearing wonderful melodies all around me, as I made my way through Amsterdam’s famous Vondelpark.

I have everything: The strength of optimism, my beautiful mind, my bountiful soul. (God, old Aretha Franklin has a way of getting deep down inside of you.) In every direction there are vibrant, beautiful, crazy fucking characters surrounding me, not one ever missing a beat.


   Most people come to Amsterdam to experiment, not knowing what they are looking for. But I knew why I had come to Amsterdam. (It was to let go everything go, to expand my spirit, be able to truly taste life for the very first time.)

I have come to be at peace over the last several days of my life, grow like a plot of tulips surrounded by a pack of still, guarding, silver reptiles silently staring at all. In Europe, the groove is everything. (The Europeans listen and are hip to the heaviest music going!) I nurse a frosty beer while riding an Ecstasy haze, feeling every sound of the illustrious Music move through me, growing inside of me. In the corner of a Beatnik café, I find myself falling deeper and deeper into a Alfred Hitchcock “Vertigo” poster that’s framed on a pulsating tavern wall. [HITCHCOCK WAS THE MUTHAFUCKER ALRIGHT!]

“I love any man who can raise the dead,”   I acknowledge to myself.

[Voice from a Universal voice.]   “How can you escape the sounds of Soul while riding the Soul train?”

“You can’t. Either you accept the ride, or you continue to live in denial.”

   Accepting, rather than declining the ride, makes me believe I am alive, somehow part of all “This!”; This life, this existence, this GIFT. I wish one day to form a band that will emotionally challenge every creature it confronts. (Amsterdam is the place.) I can feel 100% pure euphoria running through each of my throbbing veins. (The only thing I can’t do is fly. I tried to, but fell flat on my fucking face.)

Sunny days I walk without a care, feeling like the hand of God is guiding my every step. I look over my shoulder and realize that Life truly is a miracle, a gift, a sensational blessing that most of the time we take for granted. To be continued…





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