It’s two past midnight and Mr. MahCorken is sipping three fingers of Wild Turkey 101, trying to endure the fucking Devil Winter.
Scorgen MahCorken knew the evil snowman was lurking somewhere close; but the evil snowman didn’t know that Scorgen MahCorken had a plan up his own sleeve.
“MAHCORKEN!!” A vagabond yelled with psychotic excitement as Mr. MahCorken ran out into the Exorcist cold, scorching the shit out of the evil snowman.
Flamethrower galore lit up the dismal, faithless night as Scorgen MahCorken contemplated to himself; “If there is truly a God, what was his ass bang reason to create Winter?”
Mahcorken aimed his flamethrower up towards the sky, sending turbo bursts of fiery warmth above as sizzled angels fell upon the frigid, snowy ground, each appreciative to be put out of their chilly, grieving miseries.
“If I want white powder, I will get myself a kilo or two and be in Miami Vice episode; Fucking cooked and toasty to the tee.
Fuck these lunatic people exclaiming nauseatingly. “Oh, did you hear it was going to snow?” “Going to snow lots so we can head up to the mountains, put on puffy jackets, strap wooden planks to our feet and speed down a slippery, “cold as a morgue” incline, potentially running into a tree and dying a non prestigious, premature death.”
“DID YOU HEAR IT WAS GOING TO SNOW TODAY!” Yeah, that’s why I brought a fucking flamethrower to spite the miserable Season.
Patterson, O’Brien and MahCorken in a warm pub; throwing darts, drinking fine Scotch, playing grab ass with all the fine women around them; Living Life like The Good Ole Days.